Sheinal Bhuralal - Entrepreneur
We also emphasise certain behavioural traits by making them into repeated mantras - "I can do it", "I can try", "We build, not break", "you don't fail, you learn", amongst others.
Tell us a little about yourself and what you do.
I'm one of the co-founders of Agora Colearning, an education hub focused on radically improving the after school space in Singapore and across the region.
It has been a windy road to becoming an entrepreneur. After 15 years in banking and finance, mostly in Hong Kong, I felt that I had a lot more to learn and was excited by innovations across the fintech universe. My wife and I packed our bags, took a year off to go back to school, after which I joined the fintech space and, later, the venture capital space.
Soon after, a good friend asked me to evaluate an idea he was working on to help solve for the awful after school experiences of parents and children alike....that was the beginning of Agora!
How old are your kid(s)?
I have two kids, 6 and 3
Who is the primary caregiver in the household, and what are you and your partner’s parenting philosophy?
Our son was born whilst I was back full time at school. My wife had left her successful career in finance to join me for the year-long programme and she absolutely became the primary caregiver. When we returned to Asia, I was working a ridiculous amount and relied on my wife to be there for our family. She has been the glue that unites our family - of that, there is no doubt. Working from home during COVID was an opportunity for me to build much stronger bonds with our kids but my wife remains the primary caregiver.
We both have similar principles and values when it comes to parenting, although we may differ in tactics. Some of the most important:
Our children have very clear routines. For example, their end-of-day routine starts at around 5pm with bath time then dinner, before getting ready for bed with lights out at around 6.45pm to 7pm. The idea is to ensure that their sleep is protected and that they can benefit from consistency.
We aim to explain the "why" rather than lay down arbitrary judgement. It helps provide context for decisions whilst showing respect for their views and perspectives and whilst it doesn't always solve an immediate issue, it leads to less ambiguity over time.
We spent a lot of time early on making sure that the kids had the vocabulary to express their feelings. We also emphasise certain behavioural traits by making them into repeated mantras - "I can do it", "I can try", "We build, not break", "you don't fail, you learn", amongst others.
What's your favourite moment in the day with your kid(s)?
I usually get to see my kids two to three times during weekday evenings and it is always great just to be able to hug them, read them a story and tuck them in. Otherwise, I mostly catch them early in the morning before their bus to school.
How do you keep yourself sane?
I play tennis twice a week early mornings with a lovely group of people. Great to start the day with a combination of social and physical activity.
Best tech tip on parenting.This can be apps / hardware / gear you use, and how you use them.
Not super high-tech I realise but my wife ordered a Hatch baby light for our kids to help manage sleep time better - has been super helpful.
Most helpful advice you've received as a parent.
I used to think that I could focus solely on work when required and then focus on deep quality time with my kids when my schedule allowed for it. A friend at some point made the observation that you don't choose when quality time happens with your kids. The reality is that your kids don't distinguish time that way - it is simply time with you as a parent. You can catch incredible moments of joy, laughter, bonding at odd times - even when reading to your child on the toilet, as I often do!
What lessons do you not want your kid(s) to learn?
I want them to grow up with a sense of hope and possibility and, most importantly, never want them to feel limited by what they might be able to achieve.
What was the best lesson you learned from your child?
I'm still a work in progress in this regard, but I am learning to try and live more in the moment rather than planning ahead, making mental checklists or being on my phone.
What is your proudest dad moment?
I feel like there are just so many to choose from! When my son recently turned 6, he had his birthday party at Agora and he was just so level-headed and kind that day, it was heart-warming. When he built his first serious Lego Technics set without my help. When my daughter comes up to her mother and says "you look beautiful, mummy." So many small moments rather than a single event.
If you could ask anyone, dead or alive, for their best parenting tip, who and what would that be?
Perhaps some of the parents of people such as Roger Federer or Elon Musk, those that have had incredible outcomes in some ways. There are so many variables at play here so it is always interesting to see the role played by parents, but also the environment they are in, the schools they go to and the friends they keep!
How do you manage technology exposure for your child/children?
We don't have a TV at home but do let the kids get around 15 minutes of iPad time each weekday morning when getting ready for school. Otherwise, basically not much technology exposure other than when our son is building a Lego robot or something of that sort.
What hobbies do you and your children share?
We are looking forward to getting them started with tennis, something that both my wife and I love and play regularly. We like to read together, with my son having a particularly keen interest in anything to do with science.
Finally, your best dad joke!
When getting my kids ready for the day and they are being tricky, I resort to the same tactic of putting their underwear on their heads or on their arms and telling them that is definitely the way to get ready in the morning! Despite being oft repeated, this still has the kids squealing with laughter. Not sure how much more juice I have left in that gag mind you...